Going back to double workout days is something I need to do. Now I just have to convince myself that it’s something that I want to do. I know I wanted to tonight because this morning’s sprints got cut off by the other one in the house that thinks she needs to run. Oh, the nerve! Oh well. Tonight I did circuit training and included sprints as part of it. 6 sets and each topped of with a 9mph minute run. I remember looking forward to Tuesdays when all I had to do is just run in the morning.
Something is still missing. I had this mental image of being thin before that drove me so hard. Not only did I look at myself in my mind as thin but I felt it too. I don’t have that feeling yet. Maybe it’s the time of the year or something but I don’t have it. Maybe a few weeks of these intense workout and I’ll get it back. I just need to persevere and keep going.
Work was work today with a pinch of frustration added in for a little spice. I love my job. Not just the responsibilities but also the challenges. I don’t have a job where it’s the same thing everyday. New problems and questions come up all the time. It is really fun Today just wasn’t as fun and it was nice to take it out on the weights and the treadmill tonight. Hopefully this will reward me in the near future.
Last night I became fixated with a song on youtube. Maybe by Oasis. I personally preferred a live cover by Chris Martin and Noel Gallagher. Now today the word ‘maybe’ is becoming a theme. Over 2 weeks I’ve lost only 2lbs. When one starts over with weight loss, is it typical not to see the big loss right away? The one thing is that I never really left the water behind. I stuck to it, drinking large mugs of it from morning until night. Maybe it’s because I’m picking up where I left off with the weight lifting during my circuit training, doing things I’ve never done. I was so sore for 2 days after my workout on Wednesday night. Maybe it’s a hang-over from last weekend when I ate too much of a burger at one of my favorite restaurants. Maybe I need to push myself more.
There, I’m done with the ‘maybes’ They’re all out and I’m moving on. Yesterday I had a great morning with running my sprints. I wasn’t able to do a follow-up exercise last night since I had to watch the kids but this morning I’m going to see how far I can run. I’m going to try to push 6 miles, we’ll see how that goes. MAYBE further.
It’s been 2 months since I’ve posted anything, I actually had to look it up. I haven’t checked stats or anything. I’ve stayed away. Not just from this blog but from choices I had made to get and stay healthy. I had a lot of excuses: surgery, injury, being drained by family and the holidays, or just not feeling it. I’d get back on the treadmill every once in a while and lift weights when I felt like it but I’ve fallen. Food became a crutch for pain and for emptiness that I was feeling. I didn’t have a reason to and I just didn’t care, again. Out of the near 60 lbs I lost I gained nearly 30lbs back. A set back for sure. But I’m done with it now and for several reasons.
I am healthy. Over the last 2 weeks I’ve been getting back into my routine and I’m reminded of how strong and healthy I am. I still can sprint @ 10mph for 1 minute. I can run long distances, push myself just as hard as ever with my circuit training and I can feel that muscle is still there that took months to develop. I am healthy and I never want to lose that.
I want to be comfortable again. Clothes feel much tighter, obviously, and I had to dig out some of my old clothes. Not all of them, just a couple. I saw some pictures this morning of me from this weekend and I got really angry. I thought I had put that guy away. Time to lock him away for good.
My sister is a freak. She really is. 2 weeks ago she had the nerve to challenge me to run a half marathon with her on May 22 and I lost my mind and said ‘yes’. I know I can do 13.1 miles. Note the word ‘do’. I’ve always said I didn’t want to race because I didn’t want to run for that reason. I told myself and everyone around me that I wanted to run just for the fun of it and to get healthy. But honestly I was scared. I was scared to fail. I don’t know where that fear is coming from, it affects me in more than just the area of running but I need to address it, know it, and run past it. Pun intended. So I’m running again and working on getting faster. On Sunday I bought the most expensive pair of running shoes I have ever spent money on and they have felt great. I’m ready to push myself for distance and speed. I may be crawling at the end of that 13.1 miles but I will have given it my best on that day and all the days leading to it.
The last straw. While I’ve been keeping up with reading the posts of people still on their journey I was pretty determined not to do any more posts. I didn’t feel like writing and I didn’t see the need. I do see the need now. I checked on the blogs this morning and saw that Beej had made mention of me, that I had an impact on him. Did I really? Did I inspire someone? So I do this for me. To talk things out, to be open/exposed, and listen to suggestions. I do need to continue to write because it’s healthy for me to do.
So that’s where I’m at. Today I killed it on sprints in the morning and finally made the time to do an evening circuit training from which I almost died from. We’re having wonderful weather up here in the frozen north so I’m going to spend some time the nights I’m not circuit training to be outside and cut some brush down to get ready for summer projects. We will have grass this year, we will have grass. Thanks for everyone’s thoughts and concerns. You’ll be hearing from me very soon.
Nothing big. Tonight was our fantasy football draft, supposedly. I was most nervous about my internet connection which has been spotty lately at best. Sure enough it went out but after resetting the router I am connected…….only to find out that the draft will be automated. How am I to exercise this great football mind? How am I to show my dominance when it comes to FF? What fun is it if everything is figured out for you beforehand? Meh.
Other than that, today was a good day. I got up early to do some HIIT training on the treadmill. Went back to incline of 10%, running at 6mph and doing 10 sets. Good workout. Really got my metabolism going, was hungry all day but ate right. Tonight dinner wasn’t ready so I had the other half of my protein bar, grabbed some water and did another new circuit training. These last 2 have been from Bob Harper and while good, seem to be a little lacking in breadth of exercises. Tonight I followed it up with another 25 minutes on the treadmill. So good exercise and good eating. Hoping for a good result but more concerned about staying in the mindset of where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. I don’t care how long it takes to get there, I will get there.
Today was a better day. I ate a bit more. Egg white after I did my sprints this morning, a handful of crackers and trail mix this afternoon. One thing that’s been missing out of my diet the last few days is fruit so I picked up some apples along with my carrots after work today. Tonight instead of a salad I had a peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread. Rested. Then did a new workout. It was a circuit training but with different exercises. It also brought back an exercise that I had sworn off a while ago. Burpies. It’s where you squat down to your hands, thrust the legs back, jump to bring the legs forward, then jump in the air. The last time I did this did not bring a good result. It’s fun to look back and see how long it took to recover and what I was able to get back to for exercise. I’m grateful that I have this written down to look back on just for myself.
Anyway, the workout really got to me. I can feel new soreness with the new exercises and the squat thrust jumps really wore me out. I followed the training with a trip on the treadmill. First 4 minutes were a run and then I went into a walk with a steep incline. Total was 15 minutes. AND THEN…….
There was one boy left with my wife for daycare and he’s my oldest son’s age. They’ve been talking up how they could be me in a running race so we had a race then. I set up an 1/8th of a mile race on the gravel road back to our mailbox. The first race I started with them and kinda jogged with them trying to keep them in it but also letting them know I could take off at any time. I won. Second race, I gave them a head start of 5 seconds, caught up with them and then cruised as my son passed me for the win. THIRD RACE, gave them a 10 second lead and went all out. The other boy beat us but I nearly caught up to them at the end. That was 10 sprints total for the day. Then we went for a little jog to watch the combines harvest until the mosquitos were just too much.
All in all a pretty good day. My stomach feels better and I hope the weight keeps coming off. I don’t think I’ll make it but you never know.
Last night my son and I finally got to a race. It’s a dirt track in Grand Forks and was pretty fun and loud. We were prepared with our earphones and had a good time. My son, Kade, got tired out and we left halfway through the last race. He liked it but hasn’t been talking up a storm. There’s been more talk about the salamander I caught this morning and that the kids are taking care of. I love the little things in life.
Yesterday was a good day regarding my eating. There were some snacks available late in the day at work so I had a little bit and skipped dinner. It took til about lunch to get my stomach to feel better after the fiasco from Thursday night. At the race Kade had a small box of popcorn that I had a few handfulls of and then a small bag of store bought pretzels, the good stuff.
I also got some chance to work on my mp3 player at work. During my run on Thursday my mp3 player started losing sound and when I looked closer, the headphone jack was loose. After taking it apart yesterday I saw that the headphone jack had a crack in one of the solder joints so I touched it up and it’s as good as new. I love being able to do that.
Today is a new day. I ran on the treadmill this morning at 6mph for 40 minutes and tonight I plan to follow that up with a good circuit training. In the meantime I’m watching the kids as my wife gets ready for Kade’s birthday party tomorrow. I’m going to try to install Linux Mint on my laptop. I’m really getting tired of this laptop and can’t wait for the 3 – 4 months it’s going to take to get to my goal and be able to purchase my reward. My laptop keeps ‘sneezing’, getting caught up with some process and hesitating in doing what I want it to do. Maybe the Linux Mint will work better. I don’t need this thing to do that much.
Oh, I almost forgot. After my run this morning, I went to church to set up audio/video for a 50 year wedding anniversary. As I was waiting for the person to show up with a laptop I ran into someone that is a mother of a healthy family. Not that she’s a fanatic. She doesn’t preach or anything, she has always been nice to me. Everyone in their family is athletic and carry on a healthy lifestyle. But today she mentioned about noticing the new me and asked me how I got there. After I explained it, she asked follow-up questions and getting a feel if this is a temporary thing or if I’m changing my lifestyle. I loved that line of questioning. She brought up the word ‘program’ and I mentioned that I’m not on any. This is a new mindset based on knowledge that I found, not that someone has given me. It was a great conversation and I have to make sure to thank her tomorrow if I see her for asking me those questions. I would love for her to feel comfortable to keep asking me those tough/probing questions. Bring em on!!!
Just got done with my evening workout. I did not want to do this one at all. I had a sore on the back of my leg and I was distracted by things inside and outside the house. But I put a band-aid on and got to work. When I do my circuit training, I reverse the order of things halfway through to mix it up and keep my body guessing a little bit. This means at halfway I do sprints back to back. I get done with one, mark down that the circuit is done, take a drink and 5 deep breaths and get back into it. Tonight was different. Tonight I stayed on the treadmill and did 2 minute, 2 MINUTES, at 9mph!!! I was screaming which probably helped my breathing but my body was burning inside and out. But I did it. I didn’t quit. I didn’t die. My body is strong enough to do run 9mph for 2 minutes. By no means does that mean I’m going to EVER do that again but it is good to know that if I’m in a situation with Jason Bourne where I need to run fast, I won’t embarrass myself. Although I may have just done that with that comment…….
Not much to post about today. It was a great day. Eating was good and the exercise was better. I really put in a good effort tonight and did 7 circuits over my usual 6 circuits. My body feels tighter and strong and I’m loving the new schedule for the week. And can I say that I really love chicken. My wife made some up for me for the week and I put it in tonight’s salad. Oh so good and I can feel that my body is just craving for it. Really love that protein.
Another compliment today. This time from an older lady I work with and she didn’t know if I was comfortable talking about it. I never stop finding this hilarious. I wonder if it is themselves that don’t feel comfortable about it. She also has stopped with the pop (that’s what we call soda up here) and drinking a lot of water. I’d love to put Pepsi and Coke out of business. But then some might not like me too much.