Before I start on my exciting, personal discovery I have to tell you about a phone conversation I had with my mom last night. As a family it can be hard to dish out compliments, especially when a pattern of disappointment has been established. My weight, while maybe not called disappointment by my parents, has been something they’ve been concerned about for a long time. My mom is a nurse and is very aware of nutrition while my dad is a farmer and does a great job of listening to her and going along with the program. It is not surprising that they may be a little reserved about this journey as it is not the first time I’ve talked about losing weight or even trying, but I think they see a difference. Mom called to tell me how proud she is of me that I’ve stayed with it and have put in a lot of hard work to get where I’m at. She has seen how different I look and a little excited about where this journey might go. I’m grateful to have a supportive family that encourages me, doesn’t say anything that creates a road-block in my mind, and continues to challenge me. My sister, Ingrid, is also a HUGE part of this in being open to conversations to diet and exercise. My wife, Ester, has been great about what foods to have in the house, to talk about where I’m at with the exercise and what else I could try to get the most out of my efforts. Without my family, this all would be very hard to do and I am forever grateful to them.
And now for the beans. I was digging through the fridge yesterday because I was having a case of the munchies like Steve was having yesterday. I came across some beans so I started to do some research online and read articles like this one, Beans. After seeing how good they were in fiber and protein I decided to cook some up and have for a snack. Boy, did I get full in a hurry. I do pretty good with having vegetables raw and alone so it was great to find another taste on my mouth and then to feel my body working on digesting that little meal. I’m hoping that it helps me reach my goal of 2lbs for the week.
Speaking of that, the scale has been frustrating. Usually at weigh day it is the lowest part of fluctuations that happen during the weekend. For some reason, I time it just right, then go up 2lbs the next day. This weekend has been very different. It hasn’t moved, not a little either way. So either it’s setting me up for a good week or I’m going to throw the scale out the window on Friday. I know, it’s not the scale’s fault but it doesn’t have feelings so I don’t care.
Yesterday was such a fun day. I really took in the accomplishment of reaching that 40lb mark and reflected what I’ve gone through the last 4 months and where I was 6 months ago. I was remembering how uncomfortable it was to sleep, how much less room I had in the driver’s seat, how tight big clothes felt on me, how I was aware that people might be looking at me because of my weight. Now I’m sitting in my chair in my bedroom with plenty of room on the sides, wearing a shirt that I haven’t worn for 6 years and it fits great, resting after finishing my first 6 mile run in preparation for my 10K that I will run in August. I feel strong physically and mentally. I’m learning that it’s ok to treat myself with some food because of how I’m working out. I need the energy, just as long as I keep the processed stuff in check. Last night I grilled some burgers, eating one along with some potato chips that we made ourselves. We included the skins which has enzymes that helps breakdown the starch that is in potatoes which I’m re-learning can be a healthy food when prepared properly. It felt good to see the scale had not changed this morning after that good meal last night.
I was sore yesterday from yesterday morning’s workout, especially my knees. I went for a walk last night pushing my daughter in the stroller, having the puppy on the leash, and letting my son bike in front of us. It was just 2 miles but I was feeling it afterward. Had to have a soak last night because I really wanted to get things loosened up for today’s run. Woke up less sore but I’ll probably feel it later today. I’ll just take it easy on the knees for the rest of the weekend. If I do exercise, it will be on the exercise bike or an actual bike.
It just feels great to be at this moment. I think I’m going to break down my goals now to 10lb goals. No rewards. The feeling of accomplishment is reward enough.
As the day as gone on, my back has gotten a lot worse. I think I have to be really careful with stretching before and after these longer runs, probably with the shorter runs too. So glad I have a day off tomorrow.
Today was my off day from exercising but not from sticking with my diet. My body has gotten used to waking up at 5 so even though I could have slept til 6 it didn’t happen. No snacking today. No desire to snack. I kept very busy at work today with diving deep into some interesting projects that I like and I made sure that I focused on drinking water whenever I could. The funny thing is that part of it was how I felt in one of my favorite shirts. I felt very confident.
Tonight was an active night. I coached another soccer game and made sure that as a ref I closely followed the plays. After that we went to my parent’s to celebrate my mom’s birthday. My parent’s still had not come back yet so I took the kids out to see the cows and the garden. Once they arrived I played hard with the 4 young kids. Once we got home I helped get the kids ready for bed and then went for a 20 minute session on the exercise bike. Nothing intense but I got a sweat going.
I’m in a better place. I read a blog post from Southbeach Steve tonight about the sun is shining which summed up the day nicely. Even though I’ve been hard on myself the last few days, I’m making progress and staying on track to reach my goals. It is time to make hay. But first I have to get the cows back in the pasture.
I struggled today with snacking. At work it was a creamy salsa dip with veggies and tonight it was Lay’s B-B-Q chips. Did I binch? No. Just ate more than I should have. I did great with the sweets, just half of a protein bar after this morning’s workout but the chips got me today. So now the why. I think it’s the house stuff. We’ve been trying to close for the longest time and today we heard that a couple inspections MIGHT get us the loan we really want/need. I’m pretty good at hiding how much this is bugging me on the outside but it got me on the inside today. Pretty sure I kept close to my calories as I missed some of my scheduled snacks due to a busy day and then I made up for it with my exercise. It’s just the idea that I let it take control of me like that. I don’t like that at all.
Workouts felt great today. My muscle workout before the HIIT went really well as I added some harder variants to the mix. For my HIIT I did 8 reps and felt very strong. This evening was a little more difficult. I had the kids tonight while the wife went out with the girls as she most deserves to do after being here all day with them. I thought I could sneak a workout in while they were up but I learned better 5 minutes into it. So I started a little later than I wanted to. I wanted to have Wednesday night be yoga night ( a thank you to my sister, Ingrid, for getting me into this) My butt got kicked the first time I did it 2 weeks ago and we were going to share a DVD with my sister-in-law but it hasn’t come yet. So I burn 700 calories in 42 minutes on the exercise bike. Yes, that is my final calorie count after taking 50 calories off the total. I really sweat good when I work out on that bike. Hopefully we’ll get one of our own when I reach my goals and use that for maintenance. I’ve been told that the treadmill is taking too much abuse from me. =)
Today was just a frustrating day. I had 2 good workouts with high intensity interval training on the treadmill this morning and then a good circuit training tonight. It was the snacking that I’m frustrated with today. At work we had to test a new program and the schedule really killed my normal schedule for eating. And then at the test lab they were passing out cookies all the time and I had 2 good size cookies. Not that it’s completely bad that I ate 2 cookies but I felt I had no power over them. It just hung over me the rest of the day.
When I got home, the salad was not enough. I ate a couple handful of almonds, a handful of soy nuts, a handful of peanut butter Kix, a piece of garlic toast with too much butter on it…… Every time I passed the pantry I was thinking of food. Maybe it wasn’t so bad since I burned a ton of calories today but I felt like food owned me and I hate that. I had a mental goal that I wanted to lose 4lbs this week but probably ruined that today. I wanted to smash that 250lb mark……
So I need to go to bed, to rest, take tomorrow off and reset. Take account for where I’m at and be proud of it. It is a good accomplishment and the right start to where I’m want to be.
2 Whole Wheat waffles, 1 fiber bar
2 small peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat, carrots and celery, 1/4 cup of trail mix, 2 graham crackers